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Welcome to the wonderful world of the Tiny Riders. If you ever tell anyone how you got here, we're gonna be coming to get ya. We put that blindfold on for a reason, you know. Anyways, this is the homepage of our little slice of heaven, the central meeting point of the most elite supreme commanders of all slotcardom, the Tiny mf'ing Riders. This page exists pretty much for them, their league happenings, and the whirlwind tsunami of tournaments that go down at our top notch underground raceways, Circuit du Stephan, and Somerville Speedway. |
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Scandal in the Rider's Counsel for Web Activities |
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Written by Paul Stephan
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Friday, 04 May 2012 20:46 |
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 This afternoon our correspondents caught the Rider's own web co-author Edmonton G. Maplethorpe at Mitchell Intl. Airport attempting to flee the country. He was immediately confronted about the lack of web updates over the last 2 months, and simply said "Talk to my lawyers" in response, while covering his face with his girlish hands. (web updates were the responsibility of Mr. Maplethorpe during this period) He rushed past our reporters and immediately into the security checkpoint, which stopped our man dead in his tracks.
To understand why Maplethorpe was fleeing in this manner, we have to go back to the annual report for discretionary spending and look at some very interesting line items. Items like $32,678.34 worth of cash withdrawls, all linked to strip club atms in the greater Stallis area. Or the 7 separate bookings for personal jets going back and forth to Baltimore, Maryland. (Maplethorpe admits to an infatuation with John Water's films) Or even booking the entire Harlem Globetrotters to challenge him for his birthday party, all on the Rider's dime.
Suffice to say, we won't see Mr. Maplethorpe around the Rider's corporate offices any time soon. His administrative passwords have been changed and web updates will begin again by the original online correspondent, Paul Stephan. Let's hope he works out better than the last guy. |
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Last Updated on Friday, 04 May 2012 21:04 |
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Somerville Speedway still experiencing pause difficulties |
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Written by Gertrude Ruxpin
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Friday, 04 May 2012 21:06 |
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In the last 2 months or so, the Tiny Riders have been experiencing a great new addition to our racing schedule with the completion of Somerville Speedway. The new track is a viciously twisty road course with heavy banking in many corners and no shortage of cool clear wall barriers. The overall theme of the track is of a winter origin, with meticulously carved rock walls painted in a very detailed manner. It even features a triple overpass, LED lighting system, built-in smoke machine, corner marshall hole, and car prep area, not to mention the all new free parking area.
Despite the track being excellent overall, timing issues have plagued the track. Carlson Sensor Trak, makers of the timing equipment at CdS, have ceased production of this highly sought after item for some strange reason, so it has been largely the responsibility of our Rider Shawn to sort out the timing situation. This is mostly due to the fact that he is the only one of us actully capable of operating a soldering iron, plus he seems to know a lot about electronics. So Shawn rolled his sleeves up and made homemade sensors and even built them into the scenery at Somerville Speedway. The timing sensors in place and functioning correctly, he is now working on the stop mechanism that powers the "call" button. These things are not simple. Fingers are crossed that we will have full functionality for the Klement's Sausage Party on May 15.
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Last Updated on Friday, 04 May 2012 21:24 |
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